


Even in death our love goes on

by immortalhubbys



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Bill is super sad, Dipper died, I know that the title is referencing a song about digging up your dead lover, I was this close to not putting in the words in italic, M/M, POC Bill Cipher, but Bill doesn't go that far, but i decided to give you all the full reading experience, i hate editing the text in html, thank god, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 11:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12012159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalhubbys/pseuds/immortalhubbys
Summary: What is Bill going to do when his husband dies? He never really thought about that and it showed, as he wasn't taking Dipper's death really well.Title: Even In Death by Evanescence





	Even in death our love goes on

A knock came through the door and if Mabel wasn't already next to the door she wouldn't have heard it. She turned to the door and opened it, only to be greeted by a completely covered in blood Bill. 

“Oh my god! Bill, are you ok?” She asked as she led the demon in. She looked at him, searching for any injuries but found only a few cuts on his arms and his legs. Most of the blood was on Bill's chest and she couldn't pinpoint the source of the blood. Which made her even worried, especially after she remembered what day was. 

Bill didn't say anything. He couldn't bring himself to process what Mabel told him, nor form any sort of answer. Shock, panic and sorrow overcame him, making it impossible to think. 

“Bill?” Mabel asked softly as she sat the demon down on a chair. She waited for an answer but got none. Bill looked right at her, but it seemed as if he was looking more through her. She sighed and went to fetch the demon a glass of water.

“Do you want to tell me at least where Dipper is?” She asked as she filled a glass with water. Bill's breath hitched, but he didn't say anything. She sat the glass down on the table, the water almost spilling onto the table. She had never seen Bill act like that and it was worrisome. And even worse, Dipper wasn't there.

She looked out of the window in hopes of spotting Dipper, but he was nowhere to be seen. “Stop looking, he's not coming.” Said Bill, but it sounded like anything but the demon. His voice sounded almost robotic. It sounded like him, that was for sure, but it was devoid of any emotion.

“Why are you saying that? Where is he?” Mabel asked tipping her head sympathetically as she turned her attention to Bill. “In the forest.” “Is he… busy? Is that why he isn't coming?” Mabel continued asking. One way or another she was going to find out what happened. She already made a guess about what happened, but she wanted to be sure of it. It was too big of a deal to rely just on guesses.

“You could say that.” 

“Why did you come here?” “I didn't know where else to go.” Came Bill's blank response and Mabel knew what was coming, and she didn't want to hear it. But she had to. She knew that day was gonna come, they talked about it before. It wasn't like it was a surprise. She was expecting it to happen any day now, but she wasn't quite expecting that day to be right then and there.

“Is the blood on your shirt yours?” Mabel asked, sitting down as well. Her voice was shaking. “No.” Bill muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. “Then whose is it?” Mabel asked, her heart pounding in her chest. Bill let out a sharp sob and tears started running through down his face. That was all Mabel needed. 

She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. She couldn't cry, not now. Bill needed her. “Shooting Star?” Bill asked, his tone soft, voice cracking towards the end of his question. “Yes, Bill?” Mabel asked, opening her eyes and looking at the demon. Tears soon filled her eyes. 

“I'm so sorry…”

“I should've protected him. It's all my fault and I'm sorry.” Bill said, holding back sobs. She wiped a tear off Bill's cheek. “It's ok. It was meant to happen.” Mabel said, but not even she believed that. It hurted. Horribly. But what was she supposed to say? It wasn't Bill's fault, that was a certain. 

“No, it's not ok, Shooting Star. He's dead.” Bill muttered, gathering all of his courage to say it, but it wasn't enough. He still couldn't do more than whisper it. Mabel nodded. Bill was right. It wasn't ok. 

Pacifica found them 5 minutes later, both of them crying, an untouched glass of water sitting on the table. “What is happening? Why are you both crying?” She asked, walking over to Mabel and starting to rub her back. Mabel started sobbing louder, burying her head in Pacifica’s shoulder and wrapping her arms around Pacifica’s waist. 

“He died.” Mabel muttered in Pacifica’s ear. Pacifica gasped. Mabel told them, of course she did. She said she could handle it, but Pacifica and Wendy knew better than that, so they had their own plan. “I'll be right back, honey, ok?” Pacifica said, her tone soft. Mabel only nodded as she let go of her wife and put her head on the table. 

Pacifica shot a look in Bill's direction as she left the room. His sobs were pretty silent for the most part, tears still running down his face. He wiped them off, all while staring out of the window. It was pretty sad, Pacifica had to admit. She took the phone out of her pocket and searched through her contact list.

“Hey _Paz_ , what's up?” Wendy asked when she answered the phone, Pacifica having to stifle a groan. “Don’t call me Paz…” “Yeah, yeah, only Mabel has that privilege. I heard that the first time you said it, all those years ago. Just tell me what happened.” Wendy said, her eye roll being almost audible in her voice. 

A moment of silence followed and right when she was about to open her mouth and answer, Wendy stopped her: “Got it. I'll be home in a minute.” She hung up after that, Pacifica being left with a sour taste in her mouth. Sure, she was nowhere near as fond of Dipper as Bill and Mabel, but it still hurted. 

She waited for Wendy to get there, leaning against the wall that separated her from the kitchen. She could hear Bill and Mabel’s sobs and her heart broke at the sounds. And while Mabel dealt with it worse than she expected, Bill seemed way better than Mabel anticipated. But he had the time to turn into a ruin, so Pacifica wasn't getting too excited. Their job wasn't gonna be easy, at all, but a promise is a promise. Especially one to a dead person.

A knock on the door came, merely 2 minutes after Wendy hung up on Pacifica. She opened the door and a mass of red hair entered the house. Wendy was carrying two bags of groceries, a flannel tied around her waist. The shoelaces of her boots weren't tied and Pacifica sighed. At least she managed to convince Wendy to get a new pair of boots, she consoled herself as she followed Wendy in the kitchen. 

Wendy stopped in her tracks right in front of the entrance to the kitchen. Pacifica could only assume that Wendy saw Mabel and Bill. “You take Mabel, I'll take care of Bill.” She said, her voice merely a whisper. After all, she didn't want Mabel and Bill to hear her. Wendy nodded and she entered the kitchen. She placed the two bags on the counter and went straight to Mabel. 

“Mabel, sweetie, how are you doing?” She asked softly, Pacifica entering the kitchen and going straight to Bill. She put her hand on his arm, but he pulled his arm away. That seemed to break whatever trance he was in, because he turned to look at Pacifica. His eyes were wide and he was breathing heavily, as if he just finished running a marathon.

”No touching, got it.” She said with a nod. She never tried to touch Bill before, if she was honest. They did touch, briefly, but he was always the one to initiate it. She simply didn't know that Bill couldn't stand being touched. It made him all sorts of uncomfortable, but by seeing him around Dipper you wouldn't be able to tell. 

“How about we go and get this blood off you?” Pacifica asked, tipping her head to the side. Bill sighed relieved, a sob escaping his lips and nodded before he started crying again. At least it was just crying. It could've been worse. Pacifica led Bill out of the room and let Wendy take care of a crying Mabel, who was clinging to Wendy as if her life depended on it. 

*

Bill walked into the woods, looking behind him to make sure that no one was following him. It's been two years since Dipper died. Two years on the clock ever since Bill had to watch the love of his life die in his arms, unable to do anything. 

It still hurted, a lot. He didn't sleep once ever since the day it happened, he just couldn't relax enough without Dipper’s shooting presence to fall asleep. So he spend his days looking for a way to get back his lover and his nights at his grave. He often ended up crying, but he didn't feel so alone. It almost felt like Dipper was there. Almost.

What he didn't know was that Dipper was there. Every night. And he listened to Bill rambling about his research, losing his hope more and more every single day. His hope and his sanity. He could see it in Bill's eyes. He wanted to help, so badly, but he couldn't gather the courage to reach out to Bill. 

Bill didn't know that. If he did he wouldn't be so hopeless. If he knew that he wouldn't have to force himself to get out of the bed each morning. If he knew that his every step wouldn't seem like such a burden. Well, those things never ever happening was debatable, doesn't matter the circumstances, but for sure they wouldn't become a constant for _two years_. It never lasted that long. It has never been this bad. 

Bill sat down on the soft grass and looked at the pine tree that was in front of him. He found it fitting that Dipper was buried in the forest, Dipper loved that forest. And to Bill it seemed a tad bit ironic to bury him underneath a pine tree out of all the trees and he was a sucker for a good irony. There was no marking that made it clear that that was Dipper’s grave, but Bill knew. He just knew. 

“I miss you.” He whispered. A smile curled at the corners of his lips. “But you know that already, I've been telling you that for almost two years now. Every single day.” Bill held back a sob.

“Anyway,” he began, wiping away a stray tear that formed in the corner of his eye. “I found a few more books today. I didn't find a thing. And those books were rare and still nothing. The magic was very dark and I shouldn't mess with it, but I needed to check. I needed to rule out any possibility. It is my fault that you died. You shouldn’t have died, not now.”

“You had so much life to live. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for not protecting you. I should have been more careful. I should've paid more attention. But I didn't and now you're… now you're…” Bill said, repeating the two words over and over, not able to finish the sentence. He closed his eyes. Squeezed them shut. “You're dead.” He breathed out. It wasn't that hard. Except it was.

He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at the tree. He stood up straight. “But I'm going to fix it, I promise.” He ran a hand down the tree. The rind was rough and as his hand ran down it, Bill closed his eyes. A single tear ran down his face. He wasn't going to cry. Not anymore. 

Dipper gritted his teeth. He couldn't stand seeing Bill like that. But it didn't seem like he had a choice. He couldn't move on, nor could he muster the courage to intervene. 

Bill opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it. Tears kept running down his face, more and more as each second went by. “I'll fix it. Somehow.” He muttered, but at that point not even he believed it. There was nothing he could do. If he had his powers he could've resurrected Dipper with a snap of his fingers. But his powers didn't work for two years now. Doesn't matter what he did he couldn't get them to work. So even if he found anything, unless it was a potion, it was useless.

Dipper took a step forward. And then another one and another one until he was right besides Bill. He sat in front of the demon, his legs crossed and he looked Bill in the eye. He could do it. He had to do it. No one has been able to help Bill and Dipper knew why: because no one was him. 

He reached out, closing his eyes right as his hand made contact with Bill's face. He didn't think that he would be able to actually do it. He thought that his hand would just go right through Bill, but didn't. He cupped Bill's face with his hand and Bill gasped as Dipper materialised in front of him. Dipper opened his eyes and turned his head, his eyes meeting Bill's.

“Hey, honey!” He said with a smile, his head tipped to the side. “I heard you missed me.” Bill looked at him wide eyed, tears running down his face and right through Dipper. Dipper couldn’t feel them, he couldn't feel Bill either. 

Bill opened his mouth, but no words came out. He wasn't sure what to say.

Dipper leaned in and kissed Bill's forehead. A chill went down Bill's back as cold lips touched his skin. He closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping down. A sigh followed. Dipper smiled, his smile soft, yet sad. He still felt deep down that he just did the wrong thing and, yet, he felt so horrible for even thinking that as soon as he saw Bill smile.

“I missed you so, so much!” Bill said, a broad grin spreading across his face. Tears kept running down his face and Dipper tried wiping them off, but he was unsuccessful. Luckily Bill was too happy to notice that small detail. And he was glad for that. He didn't know why, but he knew that Bill can't find out that he's a ghost.

“I know.” Dipper smiled. A real smile. “You told me that every single day for the past two years. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner.” Dipper apologised, his smile fading. “It's fine, it doesn't matter! All that matters is that you're here!” Bill said, reaching for Dipper’s hands. Tears stopped falling, sobs disappearing and it was almost as if Bill never cried. Dipper put his hands on his lap, giving his best to stop Bill from touching him. Or at least trying to.

He knew that Bill's hands would go right through him and he could only imagine how heartbroken Bill was gonna be when he'll realize that Dipper was still dead. So far Bill didn't seem to notice that Dipper wasn't actually there, but at the moment Bill's mental health was questionable so Dipper didn't expect much. At least he was happy, Dipper told himself. But he knew that that won't last for long. Bill will catch up and realize what is going on. 

Of course, Bill might not care and just be glad that Dipper is by his side, but a part of Dipper knew that that wasn't the case. He had no idea why, but he knew that Bill won't be pleased to hear that Dipper was actually still dead. 

Bill put his hands on his lap, a frown replacing his smile. He let his head down and Dipper’s heart broke. He didn't mean to sadden Bill, that would be the last thing he wanted. He took Bill's hands in his own. Dipper held his non-existing breath, waiting to see what Bill was gonna do. 

Bill didn't move, instead he chuckled dryly. “I… I've been trying to find a way to get you back for the past two years, but I didn't think about what I was going to do once I succeeded.” He looked into Dipper’s eyes. Tears threatened to start falling again, but Bill wiped them off before they could.

“How about this?” Dipper asked and he leaned in, pressing his lips against Bill's. Bill didn't protest in any way or try to pull away. His breath hitched. Axolotl, how he missed that! He closed his eyes and leaned in to get more from the kiss. Dipper leaned back quickly, Bill opening his eyes. Dipper looked at him wide eyed and Bill wondered what he did wrong.

“My love, what happened?” He asked, reaching to cup Dipper’s face with his hand. His hand went right through Dipper. All of Bill's concern was replaced by horror. His eyes went wide and his hand froze into place. 

“Bill?” 

Dipper caressed Bill's cheek. His cold fingers running against Bill's warm cheek.

“Honey?”

He leaned back and took Bill's hand in his own hands, holding it up and kissing the gold ring from Bill's finger. 

“You're dead…” 

Bill pulled his hand away from Dipper’s hold. Dipper was left with his hands in the air. He averted his gaze from Bill's. He couldn't look him in the eye. Not while Bill was looking at him like that. He felt like the worst person in the world and he didn't even do anything wrong.

“Bill, I'm sorry!” Dipper said, turning his head to look at his husband. Bill grimaced. “But you said you wanted me back and here I am. Does it matter whether I'm dead or alive?" Bill's expression was still the best representation of disgust Dipper has ever seen. 

“Of course it does.” Bill said, his tone cold. “Why?” Dipper asked and he put his hands on his lap, putting one of right hand over his left forearm. His gaze didn't leave Bill's for one second. 

“Because you're supposed to be dead.” Came Bill's response, cold, with only a bit of venom in it. He knew that Bill was holding back. Bill was fiery. Every emotion he felt was intense and he wasn't afraid to show that, at least with some emotions. Anger was one of them, and Bill was full of it. Dipper could see it in his eyes. 

“Giving me the cold shoulder won't fuck with me worse than actually showing how angry you are, if that's what you thinking, Bill.” Dipper responded, a feeling of dread setting into the pit of his stomach. He couldn't quite believe that Bill would pull that in that situation. He couldn't believe that Bill would pull that in any situation involving him. 

“And even if you were right, it's so fucked up of you to try and guilt trip me into doing… I don't even know what!” Dipper said, glaring at Bill. Bill's attempt at manipulating him did not sit well with him. 

“And.. and it doesn't matter! You tried to manipulate into doing something! You tried to manipulate me, your _husband_! The person you supposedly love!” Dipper said, not a single change in his cold tone. Because Dipper’s anger was cold, as opposed to Bill's. That was just who he was. No pretending there.

“I'm sorry, _Pinetree_!” Bill said, his voice raised slightly and his words full of venom. That sounded like Bill. “But I thought that was a whole lot nicer than telling you to _fuck off_ , because I'm fine or at least I'll be fine and I don't need you!” He said, but as soon as the words set in he regretted them. Yes, that _was_ , in a way, what he wanted to say, but that wasn't _how_ he wanted to say it. 

“I'm… I'm so sorry!” He said, a sob escaping his lips. “I didn't mean to say it like that!” Bill put his hand over his mouth. All of Dipper's fury washed away as soon as he saw Bill like that. It was truly heartbreaking to see Bill cry. 

As soon as he calmed down Dipper got to fully take in Bill's words and he realized what Bill truly meant. It wasn't mean, it was actually very thoughtful of the demon. “It's ok, honey, I understood what you wanted to say.” Dipper said, his voice barely above that of a whisper. He caressed Bill's cheek, trying, and failing, to wipe Bill's tears. 

“You've been trying to bring me back to life for the past two years, why is this different?” He asked and Bill put his hand away, raising it in front of his face, waiting for Dipper to catch the hint. He laughed, but there was no amusement in his laugh. “Because I was trying to bring you back to life. If I succeeded you would've been alive in every sense of the word.” Dipper pressed his own hand against Bill's, Bill closing his eyes as soon as Dipper touched him. 

“Now you're not alive and you may say you're fine now, but it'll catch up to you sooner or later. And I love you and I can't let you spend an eternity in misery only because I can't deal with my emotions.” Bill opened his eyes and for a second they flashed green. Or at least that's what Dipper saw. “You did your duty, or whatever you want to call it. You took care of me while you were alive and I returned the favour, but now you're dead. You don't have to take care of me. I will be fine, I have to be fine.” 

Dipper nodded. He understood that. He didn't doubt that Bill could take care of himself once he had his time to grief. It wasn't that and he wanted to tell Bill that, but he simply didn't have the heart to. He took a deep breath. He _had_ to tell Bill.

“It's not that.” He confessed quietly, not daring to speak any louder. Deep down he hoped that Bill didn't hear him, but Bill shattered his hopes quickly. “What do you mean?” Came Bill's response, Dipper closing his eyes. He simply can't look Bill in the eye while saying _that_. “It's not that I don't trust you.” Dipper began and he could feel Bill's gaze. He turned his head, eyes still shut close. 

“I _do_ trust you, I know you don't need babysitting and that you can take care of yourself and I would've left as soon as you told me why you wanted me gone, but I don’t really have a choice on the matter.” Dipper concluded and he looked up at Bill just in time to catch Bill's expression fall. His heart shattered into small pieces at the sight. 

“What- what do you mean?” Bill asked, a suspicious already forming in his mind. “I mean,” Dipper began, looking at his ring, “I can feel it pulling me. I couldn't leave even if I wanted.” 

“What it?” Bill asked, his heart skipping a beat. ‘Did he really have to ask’, Dipper thought. He didn't want to say the two words that would incriminate the demon, but he had to.

“My ring.”

His head was bowed down as he said the two words. A sharp sob came from Bill's direction and Dipper closed his eyes. ‘There it was.’ He looked at Bill, watching as tears filled his eyes. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Bill's forehead, Bill closing his eyes and relaxing in an instant. It was almost as an unspoken command that Bill had to calm down and relax when Dipper kissed his forehead.

“I'm so sorry, Dipper. For making you stay here even tho you're dead and for getting angry at you for something you can't help.” Bill said, his head bowed down. Dipper placed a hand underneath Bill's chin and lifted Bill's face so their eyes would meet. “It's fine. I understand.” He said, a warm sympathetic smile on his face. Bill nodded, starting to toy with his ring. 

“Not yet.” Dipper said, placing his hand over Bill's. “If I don't do it now, I won't ever be able to let go. We both know that. That's why it took you two years to talk with me.” Bill said and only then Dipper realized why he hesitated for so long. It felt wrong to interfere and now he knew why. “Fair enough.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Dipper leaned in and pressed his lips against Bill's. He cupped Bill's face with his hands, letting Bill finally take off his ring and set their fate. Both of them closed their eyes, neither of them quite ready to let go and looking into eachother’s eyes would make things only harder. 

Bill slowly pulled the ring, he wasn't in a hurry. He didn't want the kiss to end just yet. But as soon as he felt he got enough from his last kiss with the love of his life he pulled his wedding ring off his finger. As soon as he did that he couldn't feel cold lips against his own. Tears threatened to fill his eyes, but he shook his head. He couldn't cry. He cried too many times that night alone, let alone in the past two years since Dipper passed away. 

He opened his eyes and was met with the pine tree underneath which Dipper's body was buried. His husband was truly gone. Finally Dipper found his peace. Bill gripped the ring in his hand. It hurt letting go, but it also put his life in perspective.

He could live without Dipper and he had to. Dipper was a mortal, one day he was going to die and that was how things were supposed to be. To derive Dipper of his death or his peace would've been selfish of him, and love was anything but selfish. Bill learned that over the years as he watched Dipper put Bill's needs above his own. 

Bill liked to think he gave just as much as he received, but he wasn't so sure. At least he tried. And so did Dipper. And if Dipper was going to keep trying even after he died, so was gonna Bill, because they may no longer be husbands as far as their vows go, but that didn't mean that Bill loved Dipper any less. 

Bill dropped the ring onto the ground. Moonlight hit it and Bill couldn't take his eyes off it. It felt as if he was letting a part of himself there, which he was. And that was exactly why he had to leave it there, it was too emotionally charged.

“Bill?” Mabel asked and Bill turned around to look at her. “Yes?” Bill asked, but Mabel's attention was quickly caught by the shining ring and she stepped closer to see it better. “Bill isn't this your wedding ring? You wouldn't want to lose it, I'm sure.” She said, picking up the ring and handing it to Bill. 

“Thanks, Shooting Star, but I will have to leave it here.” Bill said as he took the ring and dig a small hole in the ground. He put the ring inside of it and buried it, to make sure that he won't be tempted to put it back on until he finished his griefing. “I’ve got good news tho!” Bill announced cheerfully as he stood up. “I won't be visiting his grave every single night, nor obsessing over bringing him back.” Bill said a smile on his face. 

The shift in Bill's mood was almost unbelievable to Mabel. He went from being a crying sad mess to being cheerful in an hour. “That's… great! How are you feeling, Bill?” She asked, definitely worried by Bill's sudden change of mind. “Shitty because my husband is dead, but I think I can finally start working towards feeling better.” Bill said, hope visible in his eyes. And as glad Mabel was for the fact that Bill seemed better, she couldn't help but wonder what happened.

“I saw him, if you wondered what happened.” Bill said simply, answering her unsaid question. “I was pulling him here for the past two years and not letting him have his peace, but not anymore. Which is why I'm leaving the ring here and why I'll get my shit together. He deserves better than somebody who will do anything to keep him here, with no regard of his wishes and well-being.” Bill added, Mabel nodding along.

She understood as much as it hurted knowing that her brother was truly gone. “I'm still sorry. I can't even imagine how much it must hurt.” Bill added quickly, starting to feel really bad. He got his closure, but Mabel didn't and that seemed unfair to him. Dipper loved both of them equally, in completely different ways but equally, and they loved Dipper equally, again, in completely different ways bue equally. 

“Do you think he's better off this way?” She asked, Bill only nodding. She smiled. “Then there's no need to apologise. That's what matters at the end of the day, isn't it?” Mabel asked and Bill smiled too. “Yeah, I'm still sorry you didn't get your goodbye.” “Irrelevant, now let's go!” Mabel said as she started walking in the direction of the shack.

“I'll go home, actually. I think I'm ready.” Bill said, not moving an inch from his spot. Mabel stopped in her tracks and spun on her heels to face Bill.”Want me to drive you there?” She offered, offer Bill couldn't say no to. “That’d be really nice of you, Shooting Star.”

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this took me back to my emo phase from when I was 12. Luckily my writing isn't as bad as it was back then. 
> 
> But really, if you want to get really emo, listen to End Of Time by Lacuna Coil while imagining Dipper dying in Bill's arms, choking on his own blood all while trying to calm Bill down. And then read this while listening to the 2016 version of Even In Death. Mortal combo for me. Guaranteed tears, at least for me.


End file.
